Start writing

I spent five years creating all sorts of content. I edited promotional videos. I took pictures of nature. I designed posters for events. I planned YouTube videos. I experimented with all sorts of things, but there was always one thing I avoided. Writing.

Why, I honestly don't know, but there was always a fear in the back of my mind that I wasn't good at it. I used to have some sort of notion in my mind that humans can only be good at certain things, and that I should focus my skills on other forms of creative work.

Little did I realize the opportunities I was missing out on.

Anti-writing

I would still write - I'd write messages, I'd write captions, I'd write descriptions. But I wouldn't write for the sake of writing. In fact, I had developed somewhat of a hatred for writing as well; the only time I'd have to properly write was in school, where there were rulings and guidelines and a grade on stake. I grew up not even understanding what it meant to write... to write freely.

Just start, already.

In 2022, I joined Linkedin - I was in 11th grade now, and had to act somewhat professional. I quickly filled in all my previous jobs, my experiences, and my projects. I saw some community members creating posts on LinkedIn; "this is cool," I thought. So I wrote one about a project I was planning to start.

It got around 4 likes - "cool," I thought. "Let's try again."

My next post was pretty much an essay. I spent an hour typing about a project I worked on in 2020, how it failed, and what I learnt from it.

"Start a blog," said Hayaan, a friend of mine. I replied with "lol".

Either way, I carried on writing. I wrote whenever I felt like it, about pretty much anything on my mind. I wrote about projects, about AI, and about ice being a scam.

And not once did I use AI to help me, even though I would use it for pretty much any other writing I had to do. It just felt wrong - my posts were a reflection of my creativity, not a reflection of my ChatGPT prompt engineering skills.

I thought everything was fine - sure, I wasn't getting the greatest engagement. I needed to improve that in the next post. Sure, this only got 5 likes, let me try a different hook next time. Sure, this got 0 comments, let me send it to 10 people next time instead of just 5. Then I discovered Hayaan's blog.

Hayaan had started a blog without telling anyone. He wrote his posts without telling anyone. He didn't even share any of his posts with me until he had one that was specific to a topic I was interested in, around 10 posts in.

I was shocked - usually I would share every single post I wrote with him and a few other friends. I just couldn't understand why he would write without sharing it with others... who was he even writing for?

I fell into a trap.

Let's backtrack a bit. "My name is M Hadi..." yeah not that far back.

"I grew up not even understanding what it meant to write..." that's good, let's continue from here.

When I actually started "writing", it was never truly for the sake of writing. It was for the sake of Linkedin. It was for the sake of my followers on Linkedin. It was for the sake of engagement, and I didn't even realize the problem with that.

For a year, I wrote posts because I wanted to appeal to the LinkedIn algorithm, or because I wanted more engagement; it was never because I wanted to write.

I was writing for an audience, and not writing for the sake of writing.

Writing for the sake of writing.

What does that even mean? It means writing because you want to write. It means writing for absolutely nobody. It means not caring what anyone thinks about what or how you write.

There's nothing wrong with writing for an audience, but that's simply marketing. You're marketing yourself to others, with the goal of attracting an audience.

But writing for the sake of writing is sharing your thoughts with the world not caring if even a single person out of nine billion reads your thoughts.

Which is why I started this "blog". Here, I don't have an audience: I don't have followers, I don't have subscribers, I don't have likes, shares, comments, or any form of analytics.

I'll end with this quote Hayaan shared with me earlier, when I brought up the concern of people not liking what I write. It's the quote that truly convinced me that I've been writing wrong this whole time. It's a quote from Amit Gawande that reads:

"Well, nothing kills a writer's motivation faster than the voice at the back of the mind continuously questioning if they should write what they are writing in the first place. If anyone will read them. That writer will bear that voice a few times but then realize it's too much trouble. And soon stop writing. So, long back, I decided I wouldn't judge what I write or where I publish it. Nothing matters as long as I want it to be published. That includes who reads it. Or if anyone does at all."

Get writing. And remember to write for absolutely nobody but yourself.